Parental Involvement in Grassroots Football

This is always a controversial subject. For me, I've experienced both highs and lows in every aspect, from a spectator of a game, coaching a game and actually playing football. Parental involvement is absolute key in the grassroots game, no matter how much anyone likes or dislikes it. Here, I try to analyse the good and the bad.

As a player, I have played for 5 clubs and 1 Centre Of Excellence. During this time - I have only been managed by 2 parents. If I had to describe those experiences at that club, it wouldn't be a good description. Now let me explain...

As a parent taking your child to a grassroots team, you normally either think one of two things:

1) I want to get my child playing football as their showing a keen interest (though they may not be a fantastic player)

OR

2) My child has a real talent at this sport and I want them to pursue this as far and as long as they can.

When I was managed by someone who had a daughter in the team I was playing in, unfortunately she happened to play the same position as myself and I found myself sacrificed to come off the pitch. It could have been due to them wanting to get their daughter the same amount of playing time as everyone else (1) or wanting their child to excel in their favourite position (2). Either way, I was the only other central midfielder - it was going to be who was to be sacrificed.

So as a parent...the manager had an option..

To be disliked by his own child for playing her out of position?

OR

To be disliked by another for being substituted? 

I think their decision was only natural.

You also get the other situation - my dad managed one of my teams a couple of times due to the team entering two leagues which would sometimes require the squad being split and some going to play in the Liverpool league and some playing in the Lancashire league. Unfortunately, this was my second club and the parent situation described as above happened at my 1st club - so my dad was very conscious of the way in which he managed the situation. SO MUCH SO IN FACT THAT I SPENT ALL OF 15 MINUTES ON THE PITCH!!!

Dealing with parents can sometimes be somewhat of an art. During my time at my current club (coaching), I believe I now have a set of parents that will back me 100% in any decision I make. They advise me about fundraising, we arrange things as one and they understand that with any decision I make, I try to do it with the girls as first priority.

However, it is not always the case. As I said - dealing with parents is an art. I have been coaching for 5 years and in that time I have had very few issues. What I have had is parents lying, being dishonest, putting their daughter first. By "putting their daughter first" - imagine this...

Your team is playing on a match day and all you can hear is someone shouting the name of their child. They aren't interested in the team or encouraging anyone else but simply their child doing well. Maybe I'm being picky...but I don't like it.

I've witnessed children by the age of 11 having played at 4 or 5 different teams and yet the parents claim that its the coaches causing the issue? What? At all 5 teams?

I have been hurled with abuse down the phone, been sworn at and been told that "I'm going down". I have been described as a b***** and when I responded to the rants that I am "only a volunteer" - I got...

"I am sick of hearing that you're a volunteer".

Well the truth is...volunteers do it for free and I actually pay money out to coach some of my teams - so in truth - I am not a volunteer.

I have had parents laughing with me on trips out and stab me in the back as soon as they get the opportunity. Some have been so evil and cunning to actually twist things into something they are not.

BUT

I can't imagine my dad was the easiest of people to deal with when I was playing and he was a parent. He's still loud now - and I'm the manager!! He's louder than me and to put it short - he gets on my nerves BUT my dad helps. He is part of that group of parents that will do anything to help you as manager or coach without expecting to receive control over something in return.

I have parents that help with the following:

• write match reports
• record minutes of goals/goalscorers/assists/goal ratio
• half time snacks brought to training
• match facilities arranged
• sponsorship's brought in
• goals being put up before matches

But more importantly, they support me, they support the team and they support their daughter to do what they enjoy.

So here's a big thank you to the parents at Academy Juniors - for it has been a tough few months for me, but thank you for backing every decision I have made. I look forward to helping your daughters be the best they can be.